Adoption

EXT. - KENDALL'S HOUSE - DAY

The front lawn of a suburban home. A big-haired, vacuous female TV reporter, DIANE THOMAS, faces the camera.

DIANE

Two years ago, we brought you the story of little Albert, a Sudanese orphan adopted by the Kendall family. Today we're bringing you an update on this heartwarming story.

PAN over to reveal the KENDALLS--parents ROY and LOIS, and three well-behaved small children: two white kids, DAVID and JOY, ages 7 and 8, and ALBERT, a six-year-old African boy.

DIANE (CONT'D)

We're here with Albert's adoptive parents, Roy and Lois Kendall, and their two biological children, David and Joy.

(to the Kendalls)

Mr. and Mrs. Kendall--has it been a struggle integrating an adoptive child into your family?

LOIS

Oh, not at all, Diane. Albert's just as much a part of our family as any of us.

ROY

That's right. I mean, obviously, there are going to be some differences, since David and Joy are our biological children, and Albert isn't, but they're all our children, and we love them all equally.

LOIS

Well, I'm not sure that you can say "equally"--there's a special bond you have with children you actually gave birth to. But of course we do love Albert very much.

ROY

Oh, definitely. I mean, even though he's not one of our [AIR QUOTES] "real" children, we always make sure Albert knows that we love him just as much as if he were--you know, a cat or a dog.

LOIS

Well, I don't know, Roy, you don't want to overstate it--because remember our cat Fluffy? Remember how much we loved him?

ROY

Well, I think we definitely love Albert as least as much as, like, a hamster. Or a goldfish.

LOIS

Uh...yeah. Yeah, I'll go with that. Goldfish sounds about right.

ROY

Because I used to have a goldfish, and I was, you know, upset when it died. And if something ever happened to Albert--you know, we'd be upset.

LOIS

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'd definitely be upset if Albert died. Not, you know, devastated. But definitely upset.

ROY

Well...maybe "upset" isn't quite the right word...

LOIS

We'd feel bad.

ROY

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We'd feel bad. I mean, we certainly wouldn't be happy about it.

LOIS

Yeah, we definitely don't want him to die.

ROY

Oh, no, not at all. If we had to choose between him being dead and him not being dead, we'd, you know, we'd definitely want him not to be dead.

LOIS

Oh, yeah.

(pause)

I guess...

ROY

Well, regardless of how we'd feel about it, we're definitely not, you know, actively seeking his death.

LOIS

Oh, no! Certainly not, no. Not actively.

ROY

Even if it would make our lives a lot easier.

LOIS

Oh, God, so much easier.

DIANE

(to the camera)

And there you have it. It's a struggle, but well worth it, for this California family and their adoptive Sudanese son.

(to the Kendalls)

Is there anything else you'd like to tell the viewers at home about little Albert?

ROY

Um...well, he does have a habit of trying to get into his mother's medicine cabinet.

LOIS

What?...Oh! Oh, right. Yeah, the medicine cabinet. Right.

ROY

So, if anything ever happened to him, like he got poisoned or something, it--it would be an accident.

LOIS

Right. Right. An accident. So there'd be no need to investigate further.

DIANE

Well, it sounds like he's in good hands.

(to the camera)

Back to you in the studio, Ron.

FADE TO BLACK.