La Calle del Sésamo

On Mexican "Sesame Street," Oscar the Grouch is known as El Garbáge, "the discarded one."


Children are careful never to refer to him by name.


(Two Mexican children are drawing in chalk on the sidewalk of Sesame Street when they notice that Oscar is nearby. Everyone speaks in Spanish with English subtitles. Oscar sounds like Javier Bardem.)


Oscar: Good afternoon, children.


Children: Run! It is He Whose Melancholy Is As Black As His Brows!

(The children drop their chalk and run away.)

Oscar: Yes, children, you may run from El Garbáge. But what you cannot run from is your coming entry into the world of adult responsibility. And as the carefree innocence of youth fades, the Worm of Despair shall burrow its way into your souls.

(Oscar turns and looks directly into the camera, grinning with sadistic glee, and we FREEZE-FRAME. Bright colors explode around him as his theme song plays--a horn-heavy mariachi number, with the singer howling with passionate Latin hatred:)

¡El Garbáge!
¡El Garbáge!
Te maldigo [I curse you]
¡El Garbáge!